Sunday, November 18, 2012

Men: Something you should know about women

With the holiday season upon us, I felt it was the perfect time to share some vital information.  This is not my opinion, this is a universal truth. No matter where I have traveled in the world I have found that there are certain traits, needs, desires and demands that women share universally.

There is one trait that stands out among all women. It's something we feel strongly about and yet men continue to be oblivious. I'm talking about food containers.

There is an unwritten set of rules when it comes to food containers. The first time you share food with someone you generally use a very nice container, perhaps Tupperware or Pyrex. You are giving the recipient the benefit of the doubt that it will be returned…promptly. If the container is not returned in a timely fashion, or at all, it may be unlikely that you ever share food with this individual again. If for some reason you decide to give them another chance, they will be demoted and  the container that you use this time will be of a much lower quality. This is not to say that you do not expect them to return it. If this foolish individual does not return your container once again, stricter action is enforced.  They are either being blacklisted, meaning you may never share with them again, or they will be demoted to the lowest level. In these cases the next time you share and every time after that, the food will be given in recycled spaghetti jars, or perhaps yogurt containers.
Now that I have explained the basic rules, you can understand the importance of keeping track of these containers. Please allow me to illustrate:

In celebrating a recent holiday, Diwali, it is traditional to make treats and share distribute them to your friends and family. One evening last week, my husband brought home at least a dozen containers of goodies. What started out as delight as I perused the treats, slowly turned to terror when I said to my husband, “Everything looks delicious! Who made all this?” He responded, “Some of it is from Uncle Kishore, some is from Parita and Nehal, some from Amit…”

I was starting to feel a little nervous when I cautiously asked him, “So which dishes are from who? I have to know who to return them to…” I looked at him hopefully as he poured a glass of wine. He took a sip and said, “Who knows?”

I felt the blood drain from my face. How would I be able to return these to the right people in a timely fashion? I would be downgraded to the list of yogurt container recipients. I tried to question him further but he brushed it off as he opened one of the nicer containers and helped himself to a snack.
As the panic began to rise, I started to feel slightly light-headed. The last thing I remember was hearing him laughing in the distance as he said,

“Don't worry so much they’re only containers.”

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