Kathleen Patel is a happily married, peace loving author, motivational speaker and anti-bullying crusader. She's traveled internationally spreading her message.
"With ignorance comes fear- from fear comes bigotry. Education is the key to acceptance."
In the past month,
no matter where you look you have been bombarded with scenes of loving families
gathered around a sumptuous feast, proclaiming their love and gratitude…holiday
miracles... commercials, movies, television shows, newspapers, magazines, local news channels...
The media has
flooded the country with recipes, entertaining ideas, decorations, special sales… When you are so
inundated with that “warm and fuzzy” feeling, you are probably hoping for that truly meaningful Hallmark Thanksgiving and you want to believe that this year it will
How can that
The truth is
that many of us will not have a great Thanksgiving. Every family has their share of dysfunction-
it just varies in severity. In some families it may be a matter of subtle indifference.
There might be relationship issues that cause some to grit their teeth or
possibly fly off the handle. Sometimes it’s a matter of family dynamics and
patterns. Family members end up in permanent “roles”. I have seen patterns in families where one or
more members seem to find themselves in the “scapegoat” position. Again and
feel immense disappointment, never experiencing that feeling of being loved and
comforted and reassured. The sad feeling
of deflation that follows can sometimes lead to depression. The chances of this
are magnified even further because before anyone can catch their breath after a
Thanksgiving debacle, you are being assaulted with all the unrealistic hoopla
that surrounds Christmas.
that the universal message to all is this:
No matter how unpleasant or painful
it may be…you MUST be part of a family Thanksgiving dinner. You will be
thankful and happy and it will be just like a Lifetime movie.
I am going
to just say it.
If you find
it exceedingly painful to spend holidays with family, if it causes you undue
anxiety and leaves you feeling deflated and let down… Don’t do it!
have to be sheep following the flock, brain washed by the media. In this day
and age, the messages we receive from the media are all part of a multi-billion
dollar money making machine. Holiday are money makers. We are flooded with
messages to lead us in the direction that will be most profitable. Most people don’t even celebrate holidays for
their true meaning. Don’t even get me
started on that!
short. Here is a quote that sums it up nicely:
“Life is not a dress rehearsal. This
is your life, not a dress rehearsal. Life
is not a rehearsal. And
life ain’t a rehearsal the camera’s always rollin’.”
You are responsible for you own
happiness- no one else. You must make the decisions that bring you happiness.
You don’t have to put yourself in
positions that make you miserable. You’re an adult and you can choose where you
go and what you do.
If spending Thanksgiving with
family causes you pain, don’t do it! Do something that makes you happy. Do
something enjoyable. Who says you have to have the traditional dinner? If you
like it, fine. If not, make your favorite meal or go to a restaurant!
Most people are very caring and
nurturing to their loved ones, but when it comes to ourselves, we can be quite
harsh…even mean. Let today be a day of change. Be kind to yourself. Be a
friend. Be happy.