My childhood was shattered when I was seven years old. My family moved to a
new city. I was starting my second grade in a new school. Being a bit on the
shy side, I was nervous, but excited. I hoped that I would make nice
friends.
On the first day of school my world came crashing down. That was the day
that the bully decided to make me his target.
No one would defy him to be my friend. They were afraid.
This could result in the bully focusing his abuse on them. Even the
teachers ignored the abuse. I was completely alone. It was an
unbelievably painful experience, with scars that run deep
.
Although there were daily incidences of cruelty, there is one particular
event that left me so traumatized; I was inflicted with a life-long phobia. The
bully was very good at football. He played with his followers every day at
recess. As always, I stood alone, by a wall, wishing I were invisible,
counting down the minutes until the dreaded recess was over. This day, the
bully wanted to have some additional fun. While I was looking away, never
wanted to make eye contact with him, he aimed the football at my face and threw
it with all his might. The ball hit me with such an impact that it broke
my glasses. When the glasses broke, one of the lenses cut into my eyebrow,
while the frames cracked, with a jagged piece piercing the bridge of my nose.
The pain was unbearable and I began to cry. This delighted the bully and
he began to laugh. Soon the nervous laughter of his followers joined him in an
evil chorus. This attack required several stitches, leaving scars, both
physical and emotional.
It had a profound and damaging effect on my life. I never participated
in any sports that involved catching a ball. I was afraid of any flying
objects.
Because of the bullying, I suffered from anxiety, depression and
insecurity. I spent sleepless nights with stomach pains caused by the terror of
what new brutality the next day might bring.
I was a sad and lonely child.
One day I found my escape.
I discovered books…reading.
These books opened new worlds for me. Thanks to Rudyard Kipling and his
‘Jungle Book’, I could travel to India. I was dazzled by Mowgli and his
family of wolves. I could see the jungle and became acquainted with all
the characters- lovable or not. I was enchanted.
I discovered Nancy Drew. Everyone wanted to be Nancy Drew. She
was smart, fearless and cool. She was wealthy. I also fell in love
with Trixie Belden and her friends. I felt like I knew these characters; as
though they were my friends.
I read quite a variety of books; whatever I could get my hands on. We didn’t
have much money, so my books were gems discovered at garage sales.
One day I found the book that changed my life forever. The Power of Positive
Thinking, by Norman Vincent Peale. His guides to life were simple:
If God is for us, who can be against us? Romans 8:31
If thou can believe, all things are possible to him that believeth. Mark
9:23
One of his most powerful quotes says, “The way to happiness: Keep your heart
free from hate, your mind from worry. Live simply, expect little, and give
much. Scatter sunshine, forget self, think of others. Try this for a week and
you will be surprised.”
By putting into practice what I learned from Norman Vincent Peale, I slowly
started to heal and become strong.
I went on to have a very successful career as a sales and marketing
executive in the software industry. I worked this way for many years and made a
nice living, but something was missing. I felt empty inside. I
wanted to do something meaningful.
I started writing.
I wanted to write books that were fun and easy to read, but I wanted them to
deliver a message of love and acceptance. I wrote four fiction books with one
of them geared towards young adults/tweens called Hiren’s Magical Adventure.
This mystery was loosely based on my own husband, Hiren’s, childhood
experiences, growing up in India.
I also wrote a book on anti-bullying called The Bullying Epidemic- the guide
to arm you for the fight. I offered the book free of charge, as a public
service at first, but Amazon would no longer allow free books, so I started
charging and putting the proceeds back in to the Bullying Epidemic Foundation.
But it was not enough.
Teen suicide was on the rise, along with other horror stories that were the
result of the escalating bullying epidemic. Through my own research, I
discovered that people were in desperate need of education on bullying.
Teachers were frustrated; not being able to recognize the different types of
bullying and not being equipped to deal with the behavior. Parents still held
on to the old adage of “Kids will be kids…” All the while, innocent spirits
were being crushed.
I knew I had to do more. That was when I decided I had to start
speaking. I started to speak, on a small scale, at libraries and small venues.
The word spread and people started calling me…and calling me. I found
that the bullying epidemic was more wide spread than I had imagined. Parents,
teachers, coaches, camp counselors & students called me for help. I
was even invited to speak in Ireland, India and the Philippines. I offered
these seminars as a public service and did not charge a fee.
There is so much more work to do. I want to help the educators,
parents and students. I know that we can put an end to this blight on society.
This much I know is true.
“With ignorance comes fear- from fear comes bigotry. Education is the key to
acceptance.” ~
Kathleen Patel,
The Bullying Epidemic-the guide to armyou for the fight
For more information on The Anti-Bullying Crusader, please visit my other blog here.
