Review~Let Sleeping Dogs Lie by Tami Kidd

This book brought back fond memories of the writings of the late Maeve Binchy, one of my favorite authors. She always portrayed women confronting adversity and overcoming their obstacles. 

The protagonist in Let Sleeping Dogs Lie is. Mara Byrne. Her world is idyllic. A successful author, happily married to the love of her life, who could ask for anything more?

In a heartbeat, Mara goes from living the perfect life to having that life shattered and then crushed at her feet.

Her beloved husband of thirty years is taken from her. His sudden death is too much for Mara. Devastated, she is plunged into a dark emotional abyss, barely able to function.

As she struggles with her grief, she is dealt another shocking blow. Locked away in a safety deposit box, she discovers a love letter from another woman. She had never suspected her husband of infidelity.  They were best friends; soul mates. Nothing made sense anymore.

As her grief transitions to anger, Mara vows to find the truth, starting with the other woman. She had no idea that this would start a chain of events that would put her life in danger.

Will she survive?

Will she ever find happiness and closure?

Is it possible to find love after you lose your soul mate? 

Find the book here

An extraordinary love

When I read about the American Inspired contest it only took a moment for me to think of the one person who really deserves this award. Richard Weiner. I wrote this story because I felt he deserved to win.  Unfortunately today I discovered that he didn't make it into the finalist category.  So- in honor of Rich- I want to tell his story once again.

Rich works as a firefighter and policeman. Yes, he is a brave public servant, but he's much more than that.

About twelve years ago, Rich opened the door to his Northbrook home and took in some innocent pets that were in need.  They were Birds-mostly the large breeds.
It all started when Rich realized that there were so many of these highly intelligent birds that desperately needed life-long, loving homes.   One might not give it a second thought, when you think of birds and their intelligence.  But once you spend some time with these birds, you realize that not only are they incredibly smart, but they are extremely loving and affectionate.  In fact, they nick-named the Cockatoo breed as "Velcro Birds" because they love nothing more than cuddling up and getting some love.

But there is also a flip side to this.   Because they are so intelligent and sensitive, when they are ignored; not given enough attention and love, they develop some negative defense mechanisms.  Like humans, they can start self-mutilating.  Some birds continually pull out all their feathers, others actually peck at their skin until they have open wounds that will not/can not heal.  It's very sad. Sometimes these birds have been damaged beyond repair.  Rich makes sure they have a safe and happy home for the rest of their lives.

Rich began as a parrot parent, with an African Grey, Prince, who was followed by an Umbrella Cockatoo, Ninja.  Before long, he began taking in other homeless birds, from friends, business associates and from local veterinarians.  Soon, Rich had a house full of birds.  I mean wall to wall bird cages creating a symphony of cheerful chirping, talking and squawking in every room.
This is how 'Rescue the birds.' came to be.  According to Rich, "A Refuge for Saving the Wildlife, Inc. is a rescue, retirement, and adoption facility for exotic birds.  We offer birds a stable and loving home for the duration of their natural lives.  We do not sell or breed birds.  Some of the birds at the Refuge have "special needs," including a range of physical handicaps or other challenges requiring unique living or feeding arrangements.  Others have been bounced from home to home, often being physically and/or emotionally abused and have simply become too fearful of people to be "pets" any longer.  We now have eight permanent Psittacine residents and a red-tailed hawk.
A Refuge for Saving the Wildlife, Inc. also is home to a number of loving, healthy and contented birds whose owners brought them here when life changes precluded the continuation of their caring for their beloved pets.  These owners believe that the stability and ongoing responsible care provided by our facility, along with the with companionship of both people and other birds, is preferable to the possibility of their former companions being shuffled from home to home with no guarantees of responsible care or proper conditions."

It's expensive to run the refuge.  The birds are very well cared for.  Everything from Vet visits to the right healthy diet.  The balanced diet provided for the birds includes pelleted bird food, as well as fresh fruit and vegetables in season, frozen mixed vegetables, beans, pastas.  The cost of running the refuge is over $5000 per year.  Plus there is a lot of work involved in cleaning, grooming, cleaning... There are no paid employees here.  There is a small group of dedicated volunteers and of course, Karen Weiner, Rich's lovely wife. Here's a video of the refuge.

Rich relies on donations and does a few fundraising events every year.  In this economy animal rescue organizations have been hit particularly hard.  Donations are down, and more and more people are forced to give up their pets. One has to wonder how much Rich donates from his own pocket.  He won't tell.  He's just that kind of guy.  A real hero.

New Years Resolutions

The good ole "New Years Resolution'.  How it has evolved.  Almost as though it has a life of its own. It- like I- has become older and wiser.  It has matured and its value system is different than it was ten years ago.  It is kinder and gentler.

For many years it could be quite cruel.  Making promises it couldn't keep.  Almost setting me up for failure.  It put an emphasis on vanity and materialistic goods; losing weight, working out seven days a week,  giving up carbs permanently, making way more money... They were tough demands and even though I gave them the "old college try", inevitably I would fail.

But now it's different.  Sure, I want to be at a healthy weight and I will resolve to stay fit and work out at least three times a week.  But more importantly my resolutions will revolve around the priorities in my current life.  Things that matter in the big picture of life.  Spending more time helping others, fighting for my causes.  

I'm going to resolve to stay positive and not let negativity have the upper hand. There's something so comfortable and familiar about being negative: "These politicians are all crooks, I don't know how the economy will ever recover." or when you hear of the horrors and crimes against innocent lives, "What is happening to the world? Where is God? It doesn't make any sense." 

I think I will give up watching the news. I believe that watching the news is unhealthy.  I would like to have a daily summary of the headlines- minus the crime and cruelty.  Okay, I could be really negative here and say, "Then what news would be left?" But I won't.  I'm going to stop watching the news. It's so slanted anyway. (Was that negative?)

I'm going to keep writing my fiction books and I will keep them fun, but I will always include a lesson.  A lesson in acceptance and love. 

Acceptance and love is really all we need to change the world.

And I will pray to God that my work will make a difference. Even if only for one life. 

Happy New Year to all and may 2012 be the best ever!

How it all began

My name is Kathleen Patel. I'm not Indian by birth, but I've had the honor of joining the Indian community because of my marriage.

When I met my husband, Hiren (Harry to most of his friends), I knew nothing about India or its culture. Although I must admit that as a little girl playing dress-up, I used to wrap sheets around me in a feeble attempt to look like I was wearing a sari. I even used my mother's lipstick to create a bindi - the decorative dot that Indian women wear on their forehead. I guess I always admired the beauty and elegance of Indian women.

My husband, Harry, and I met almost twenty years ago - completely due to fate.  This is why I believe in destiny.

For years I went to work everyday and turned on my radio on to the same station.   On this particulat day, for some reason, I could only get reception for one station.  It was a station I had not listened to before that day.  All day long, the DJ's talked about a fun celebration for Bastille Day.  It was going to be happening that night, Friday, July 14th, 1992.  After hearing about it all day, I called my sister and asked her if she wanted to go to the festival after work.  She did and we were soon on our way to changing our lives.

Harry happened to be in my hometown, Chicago, on business. He was exhibiting at the convention center and staying at the Hotel Sofitel. That was where I found the love of my life. We met while standing in line for a glass of wine.  We instantly bonded. We watched the fireworks together. By the end of the week we both knew in our hearts that we were soul mates.

When I dropped Harry off at the airport he told me that he loved me. We both had tears in our eyes as he boarded the plane to New York.

When I returned to work, my radio was back to normal and I was able to get my regular station.  It was meant to be.

Little did we know, however, that we were on a rocky road to happiness. We both had a lot of learning to do.


When I first started to learn about the Indian culture, it was an exciting adventure. I wanted to know everything. I would haunt Devon Avenue every weekend - it made me feel closer to Harry during our long-distance romance. I wanted to learn all the beauty secrets of Indian women and I purchased all the lotions and oils that I could find.  I bought all of the Indian masala (spice) mixes and attempted to make Indian dishes for my family. I wasn't very good at it but my mother and sisters didn't have the heart to tell me.

I made Basmati rice every day and used Indian hair oil every weekend. I did research on India and the Hindu religion. I even bought the Bhagavad Gita,which is kind of like the Hindu bible. I would report all my escapades to Harry on the telephone every night.

Harry and I earned and used a lot of frequent-flyer miles over the next year. I had met his extended family in the states- his brother, wife and young daughter.  I had met several of his friends. I had also spoken to his mother, brother and sister in law, who live in India, over the phone.

I know his family was apprehensive of Harry getting seriously involved with an American girl. I could understand their fear. All they really knew about Americans was what they saw on television. Shows and music videos on MTV and such- didn't really make a good impression for Americans.

I wanted them to know that I was not the type of American portrayed on MTV - that I was, in fact, ashamed of that ridiculous American stereotype.

Being a first-generation Irish American myself, I feel that my values and morals originate from my heritage. The Irish culture is similar to the Indian in the fact that we are very family-oriented with strong values, respect and religion. I wrote several long letters to his family, explaining my beliefs and values.

Our relationship was met with a lot of opposition. Some of Harry's Indian friends tried to convince him to dump me, because I was American. It was a tough time.  I shed many tears that year.

On my side, initially people tried to warn me of the differences in our cultures and the problems we could encounter, but after meeting Harry and realizing what a decent, moral man he is, he was embraced by all my friends and family.

It was rather ironic. White Americans always are accused of being racists and bigots but it was actually a handful of Harry's Indian friends who were screaming the loudest. It was very sad.

On the other hand, the Indians who did accept me were some of the most gracious, hospitable and considerate people I have met.  My biggest advocate was Harry's brother, MG, who lived in California.  MG was married to a lovely Austrian woman named Brigitte and had a gorgeous young daughter named Neesha.

What it all comes down to is this: If you see that someone is happily in love, if you love that person, you will be happy for them.  My in-laws were kinder and more accepting than any of his friends.  It almost seemed to become a struggle for control. 

It was the most difficult time in our relationship but it made us stronger. In the end we discovered that the people who really loved us cared only about our happiness and were able to put aside any prejudice or racism. A year after we met, both of our families gave us their blessings for our marriage.

The next question that arose was what type of ceremony we would have. We both agreed that we believe in God and we respect each other's beliefs and religion. I attend many Hindu prayer services known as pujas and Harry attends mass with me on Catholic holidays.

We decided to marry in a non-denominational chapel. It was not a church or a temple, but it was a house of God. We are a nontraditional couple and we had a nontraditional wedding in Vegas (of course) but when we went to India later that year, we had a special puja to celebrate our marriage.

The most exciting experience of all was that first trip to India. We prepared for months. We shopped and packed and shopped and packed some more. We had four huge suitcases weighing in at about 80 pounds each. I didn't bring any clothes because I wanted to buy the lovely two-piece outfits that are called salwar kameez in India. I had purchased some tapes to learn to speak Hindi and I listened to them faithfully every day.

I was so nervous when our plane landed in Mumbai; it felt as though my heart would explode. I really didn't know what to expect. I wanted so badly for Harry's family to love me. I was soon to learn that I would be enveloped with love from the moment I met them.

They welcomed me with open arms. I was treated like royalty. I even felt guilty about being pampered so much and I kept offering to do little jobs around the house. They wouldn't allow me to lift a finger. I was so grateful to be a part of a family so full of love and goodness.

I also was struck by the hospitality of everyone I met in India. I was so touched by all the kindness shown me. Even the poorest people wanted to share a cup of tea and whatever food they had. The community where my in-laws live is particularly close knit.

In fact, after having spent an afternoon in bed with stomache ache and diarrhea, the following morning I was approached by at least a dozen people who were concerned about me. We still laugh about that today.

I had planned to impress everyone with my newly-acquired Hindi vocabulary. Unfortunately, I was so nervous all I could remember was "Where is the railway station?"

Since then we have made several trips to India and I have had the opportunity to really get to know my Indian family and bond with them. My mother-in-law also has spent time with us here in the states. Oh, and my cooking has improved. I can really make some great Dal, and Pav Bhaji is my specialty. My dishes don't always come out exactly authentic, but they're made with love.

Harry and I will celebrate our 19th wedding anniversary this next August. We are looking forward to celebrating at least 50 more.

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